Everyone hears about how contentious divorce cases can be -- especially when there are children involved. One parent usually wants to have full custody of the kids and receive child support payments from the other parent. As you can imagine, this leads to a lot of arguing and issues that usually leads to a judge stepping in to settle the matter. However, there are more divorced couples who are choosing to work together, despite their issues, to come up with a custody arrangement themselves. Here are three benefits to choosing to work with your ex to create a child custody agreement.
1. You can create a plan that works for both of you.
When it is left to a judge to decide how the child custody arrangement will work, one of the parents will likely get the bad end of the deal. It doesn't have to be that way, though. By both of you choosing to sit down together, probably with a mediator, you can create a plan that works for both of you as well as the kids. If one parent usually has to be out of town for business meetings on certain days, then you can both work around that when planning the days the children will stay with them. A judge, however, will not likely take that into consideration.
2. You can involve the children in the process.
If your children are old enough, you can allow them to tell you what they would like to happen in the child custody agreement. This is not something that is likely to happen if you depend on the court to decide your custody agreement. The judge will determine what they feel is best for the child and that will be what is done.
Of course, it can also cause some hurt feelings if one child chooses to stay with the other parent more than you. However, you need to keep in mind that boys usually want to stay with their fathers, especially when they are teenagers, and girls usually want to stay with their mother. So, try not to take it personally if your child says they want to stay with the other parent more than you. It's just what they need at that point in their life.
3. You can make a new agreement as often as you both like.
When you allow the court to determine your child custody agreement, the only option you have for changing it is to go back to court. However, if you and your ex draft your own agreement, you can both agree at that time how often you will draft a new one. If your children are young, then you will likely want to revisit the agreement drafting process at least once every three years or so. Why? Because, as children get older, they have different wants and needs.
Also, you or your ex could get a different job and the previous agreement may no longer work with their schedule. That is the good thing about drafting your own child custody agreement though -- you both can meet with a mediator to make changes to it as often as you like and you don't have to pay the high fees associated with going to court. For more information, contact a law firm such as Webber Weiser McKinley & Kay.
Share21 October 2014
Just as there are laws to protect us on the roads, there are laws to protect our families. Whether you are fighting for the right to see your children, or are in the beginning stages of a divorce, a lawyer can help. There are many laws and stipulations that can have a serious impact on the outcome of any family legal situation. Having a lawyer working at your side to get through a difficult time is the only way to ensure that your rights are fully protected. On this site, you will learn about some of the family laws that could be impacting your life today.